United We Stand

Haha... yeah, that's... that's funny. So, you know how I'm like an English teacher? You know, in like, the southern rural Japanese island of Kyushu or wherever? Yeah. So, this one student who I hate. I mean, I don't hate just one student. He asks a teacher how to say the word, "sex" in English. And the teacher hands him a electronic translator (Fine Japan, solve every problem with a gadget!) Well, after a very telling 15 minutes with the gizmo he approaches my lunch table, where I am eating a large bowl of dried fish and nuts, and says, "You and your girlfriend are united." And I think, "He's sweet, even mildly poetic." A smile curls at my mouth's corners jettisoning a couple curled minnows from the left side. Then, unhappy with my reaction, he puts his index finger repeatedly through a hole made by his other hand. "United Sean? Yeah, yeah!" he twitters. I chew my fish and nuts and blink.

Later in the day while lamenting my geographically-dictated segregation, I realize that in my mildly short life I have flown Sex Airlines, hail from the States of Sex, and when my grandfather used to root for the Baltimore Colts he rooted for Johnny Sex Us (and back then safe uniting was the taboo). I look up from the linoleum floor and am just like, "United Yeah!"

-SW